New Adventure Awaits

This is a late-night rant, let’s go!

Time passes, as it does, unnoticed, until you find yourself years past where you were…looking back and thinking about what decisions led to the moment you are in.

 Guess that’s where I am now––in the future, finally looking back at what has passed, completely appalled by how much has happened in as little time as two years. It all started when I left America for the first time.

 That chapter was exactly what it should have been––a grand adventure.

 I went into the world with no expectations. How could I possibly predict what would happen next, if had never experienced anything like it?

 Everything was new to me. Everything was novelty. The first lesson I learned my first week in Portugal took me two years to fully understand. That whatever it is “new” that you do, you cannot take the past with you. Rather, you should not take the past with you.

 The past does not belong on a brand-new adventure.

 When I left New York, I thought that the guy I was “madly in love” with at the time would hop on a plane and meet in Portugal. I would have bet you a thousand dollars that he would, confidently, because that’s how much I believed it. That’s how much I wanted it. One week abroad and my life was already full of new people. There was no room for the past and yet, it was with me. Maybe that was the reason I was able to remain so detached, so… unexpecting of what was to come.

 When the past couldn’t show up (because it was not meant to) the present arrived. And damn, was it an epic surprise.

 I’ll spare the details, but I ended up with the best summer of my life. I’m so fond of it that I cry even thinking about it…because I know that it was once in a lifetime. Even though a beautiful year and a half of travel followed, even though I fell in love with horses and Morocco… that very first summer across the world­­…well, nothing can top it.  

 Now, this is the interesting part of life.

 I have found myself exactly where I started before I embarked on a journey around the world. How does that happen?

 Well, history loves to repeat itself.

 It’s an interesting place to be solely because this time…nothing is really new. I am running into a future that is already influenced by the past.

Another lesson in life often received and finally understood: Everything comes back around, so that each time you know how to handle it. This is the wisdom gained through experience. Though, I much prefer the lessons learned from naivety. When everything is brand new, there is no sense of consequence, only a quest for discovery. Fuck around and find out, if you will.

 I wasn’t afraid of anything in the world because I didn’t know there was anything to fear. How can you fear what you do not know? I was open to love because I didn’t understand the weight of a real heartbreak. I was willing to risk everything I had built because I didn’t understand the magnitude of loss. The value of my freedom only truly surfaced when it was in jeopardy. The realization of the presence of love only when it was absent. Traveling is an epic reality, but I fear that in such a short time, too much experience has robbed me of the innocence that kept my inner child so pure.

 On the other hand, I’m fucking living. On that note, I should end this chaos. Let’s get back to the point of it all, or the few points:

1.   I learned a lot, but not enough, because I’m right back where I started. So, it’s time to take what I learned and apply it for round two. Yippee!

2.   Our best memories never leave us, they influence us for the rest of our existence and that is both a blessing and curse to live with.

3.   I’d really like to travel the world with a PIC, so if my soulmate happens to be reading this, show the f*ck up!

4.   Leave the past where it belongs.

5.   I have no idea what will happen next and this feels like an odd starting point….

 Bsllama <3